The Christmas decorations just keep coming

Ok, so we've got our new house this year that I'm trying to get decorated and w/ my nutty job, that's proving to be difficult...I had to work the Friday after Thanksgiving AND today (Saturday) WTH??? My job sucks, BUT it is helping pay the bills until I win the lottery. : )

We're having two trees inside this year and I swear, my living room looks like a jungle..you can barely walk in there. I've been putting decorations on one tree and I turn around and I would bet money that the decorations are multiplying....the pile never gets smaller...now I'm not sure if that has to do with the fact that everytime I'm out, I grab "something small" for the house/tree/yard....hmm? maybe that IS it...I'll look into it...

So, today when I get off work, I've GOT to get my decos DONE...I'm tired of my house looking like a battle zone.

Change of subject...I'm BACK on WW Core today....kinda slid off of it on turkey day...and ready to start seeing the scale move downward again. : )

HOW sucky am I?

I can't believe it's been over a month since I blogged. WTHeck is wrong with me?

Wow, guess time DOES fly when you're having fun.... of course, not really sure what the fun is, but obviously, it was there. : )

What's even sadder is that as I'm typing, I realize that I have NOTHING new to talk about really....

Work is same 'ol...although I DO have a job interview with the Attorney General's office this Friday, so I'm sooooooooooo excited about that.....

Just planning for the holidays..

Probably the biggest new thing in my life is that I'm back on WW doing the Core plan and LOVING it....I'm not a big meat person so to be able to try all these different foods i.e. polenta, bulgar, quinoa etc...is great for me....and I'm feeling SOOOO much better about myself since I've started. I'm only on week two and can't see a big difference on the scale, but I can definitely tell in the inches...I didn't measure myself (big mistake) when I started, so I'm going to attempt to do that tonight, so I'll have more accurate results.....

Wish me luck...

Definition of disfunctional

Ok, so I'm going to try and get through this posting w/o crying all over the keyboard...

So, Saturday was my baby's birthday..my ONLY baby (well ok, he turned 17 so maybe "baby" isn't the MOST correct description of him) and his own grandparents didn't even bother to call him or send him anything for his birthday...they only live about 45 minutes away but you'd think it was like four states with how little we see them and I just snapped tonight...I've always had to deal w/ having a father, stepmother and half-sister that were basically non existent, but this was my end of the rope thing...they're the type of family that are fine and loving if WE go to their house, but they don't ever make arrangements to come see us, or our new house, or be here for their grandson's birthday..things like that...(I haven't received a birthday present/card from them in three years now but I'm not bitter :) I have always, ever since I was a little girl, made excuses for them and made up this image in my own head that my life was great with them. I tried to put them into whatever situation seem to befit where you'd insert a parent, but it was always make believe.

My mother passed away 6 1/2 years ago and she was always the rock. She adored my son and me and always made time to be there as a mother/parent should. I wouldn't have been able to run her off this weekend when my son turned 17.

It's just heartbreaking for me. It brings me to tears everytime and I just realized today that I had to learn to find a way to move on without that part of my family...I had to learn to understand that I wasn't important to them...or at least not important enough...and it hurts...like the devil.

I guess I just had to put it all in writing so I could actually see it instead of just thinking it in my head. It's going to be a long road from now on...thank goodness I've got a wonderful hubby and family to help me walk this narrow road.

One habit at a time..... Week # 1

What a great idea. You know, it's funny be/c I've heard this concept before and kinda overlooked it as not being a big enough change overnight to be worthwhile. Because I am a definite "want it right now" kind of person, but while reading Lyn's blog (thanks GF), I realized that that's what it's really all about. I know in most cases, the reason we ARE overweight is because of bad choices and what better than to retrain our mind to do the opposite of what we're use to. I am going to start this challenge on Monday with a smile on my face...although right now, I'm not sure what my actual habit changing thing will be...I have narrowed it down to 2 though. (yay me)

1. Cutting my calories to 1200 a day
2. Walking at least 45 minutes when I get home.

So, that's my two...still contemplating which one would be better to start off with. I know whichever one I don't choose will come week 2 and I'm thinking it would be better off to start cutting my calories be/c if I start off walking alot more than I do now, I'm going to be hungrier I would think and then week two is going to be hard to walk AND cut calories....???

Yay meeeeeeeeeeee

Ok, so I've sat here in my office today and finished off the rest of the Dove chocolates AND some Twizzlers...that is what I considered my breakfast...I know...NuTs....gotta do better...

Then for lunch, I had a Light Flatout wrap with some spinach, turkey breast, cucumbers and some sharp shredded cheese...oh yea, and a small bag of Lay's baked chips...so that wasn't sooo bad....of course I'm always drinking on coffee, but I use Splenda or Sweet n low and ff creamer so that can't be but soooo bad for a girl...

THEN, get this, I walked around the warehouse where I work twice..now I know that might not sound like a lot, but this is a HUGE warehouse..I have flops on so my back started hurting so I stopped at two, but with that and going up and down these dag on steps, I should be skinny by...oh...the weekend. : )

blah blah blah

When did my life get so important that I had to have THREE avenues to get my life out there to the internet world???? I've been doing MySpace forever and then I started this blog and NOW I've added Facebook to my repertoire....Really? And I have GOT to have THE most boring life of anyone I know.... LOL...I do have to admit that it's been nice seeing old friends from highschool, which I guess is the jist of Facebook. (I mainly want to see if they look any better than I do...that will help me decide if I'm going to be at the Class Reunion next year. : ) Needless to say, I better get on a treadmill PRONTO.... : )

So, I'm preparing to go shopping with Ryne for his Homecoming dance this weekend. The champagne color in his date's dress is worrying me...there are a zillion different shades of champagne and finding the exact match will probably be HARD....Wish me luck...

Great ideas

I LOVE reading other peoples post and getting ideas that I'd never heard of before. While reading GF's post about the Daily Plate, I thought, hum, there's something I haven't seen. So, I went and checked it out and LOVE it. It's a great site to keep up with your daily food intake and all...I also use CalorieKing alot to get measurements and serving sizes and all....that's another great site to use. And TDP is free....so THAT'S always good.

So, this weekend will be spent finding my son a champagne colored dress shirt and tie for his upcoming Homecoming dance. I'm so excited. Since he's a junior this year, we'll get to experience the prom and all, so this is a good little test. They don't go all out like they do for the prom, but close. The girl he's going with, Jenna, said her parents are thinking about renting a limo for the night....scaaaary. I just can't believe how fast he's growing up. Tears my nerves UP.

Bear with me. I tried to get the picture to paste RIGHT HERE and for some reason (Me) I can't get it to post where I want it.

Pics of the house

Just remember this isn't the house we built...Had to let that go when I lost my job...we went through our sad spell, but we LOVE this house....so I guess things DO work out how they should.

Semi back to normal

Ok, so I'm on my fourth day on my new job and it's still fun. Still trying to adjust to the difference in logging in floor tile and/or carpet vs. taking a child from it's parent or handling a divorce...but I'm getting there. : )

Thanks for asking about the house GF We're LOVING it...still getting everything settled but I'll post some pics of it tonight. It's truly coming along great. I'll be glad when some paychecks start coming in and I can fix it up just like I want. But I know that's the fun of it all....gives me a goal to work toward.

Boy, time sure does fly...

Ok, let me see if I can even get to all that's happened in my crazy, nutty life.

• I FINALLY have a job and I am LOVING it....so far...granted it's only been three days, but a great three days. I am working at a flooring company...absolutely NOTHING to do with legal stuff that I've done for years. It's certainly different and I initially took it because I needed the money and didn't plan on staying long, but I really think I'm going to like it. I'm working at a warehouse for goodness sake. I'm the ONLY girl here (seriously, HOW bad can THAT be? ) It's really odd that I'd even CONSIDER something like this after many, many years of working with the law....AND I get to dress casually and by casually, I mean....flip flops (my fav-o-rite thing EVER) capris, shorts, jeans, etc...it's very laid back so something is catching my eye and I'm having a good time. The pay is nothing anywhere close to what I'm use to either and I AM still a little leary about that, but I'll manage I guess. Hubby is fine with it...I just think I'm having an out of body experience that will soon catch up with me. : )

• On the diet front, I'm not really doing anything specific, BUT I AM running up and down stairs constantly. I'm kinda excited about THAT....I haven't gotten tired yet...but I feel sure I'm going to see some sort of difference soon. : )

Maybe now I'll be better about keeping up w/ my blogging.....

Mmmmm

Well, I've been on two interviews in the last week. One I know is a no go :( and the other is at IBM. I'm really excited about this one.

So, I've been trying to get back into, or INTO, an exercise program/routine and let me just tell ya, that I've sucked big time at it. I have all of the best intentions and if good intentions could help you shed pounds, I'd be a stick....It's just the thought itself. I KNOW that once I got into it, I'd be ok and maybe even...gasp...like it and continue it...Me and Darryl went to a friend's house this weekend and picked up two pieces of exercise equipment and they're all sat up in the bonus room (thank you hubby) and I"ve been on them for a total of about a minute....what the heck is wrong with me....I look in the mirror and am totally disgusted with myself and yet, I don't use what I've got....someone motivate me pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.

I DID do good today for lunch. I had a LC pizza, YUMMY, and a salad w/ FF raspberry vinagerette dressing....so I'm proud of myself for THAT, but I know that at my weight, without moving my butt, the weight isn't going to come off.....

Just another day in the neighborhood...

So, I've been online most of the morning looking for jobs...who knew it would be THIS difficult? Wow....I mean, I feel like I've got an impressive resume and work history..what about the poor souls that don't. :(

Anywho, this time off has given me time to work on the new house and get things done and in order. Of course, I am getting just a little bit tired of working on the house...

ok, so yesterday I was channel surfing and came across this show: "YOU: On a Diet" and it was great. It was the typical show about four people in New York that were overweight and unhealthy and the two doctors showed them the light and how to get in better shape. Seems for women, our mid section should be no more than 32 inches.. (I scoured the house for a measuring tape and couldn't find one) I'd love to know how far off I am. It's amazing how we don't think we're that far off and then we actually DO the measurements and WOW...

All that I'm really doing is just trying to eat better for now. I don't want to be on any particular diet or eating plan because that always seems to make me think too much and end up failing...just eating healthier and better might just work for me...

Hello from down under....

Ok, bear with me here, I'm up at, oh let's see....5:58 in the morning, and I'm having a little pity party for myself. It was just one of those mornings where I couldn't sleep and figured I might as well get up as opposed to tossing and turning until the covers fall off the bed. : )

This not having a job thing is really starting to wear on me. The finances, or lack of them, aside...it's really NOT an ego boost that I haven't had more offers than I have. (and btw, I've had two and they might as well have been volunteer jobs with what they wanted to pay me) and don't get me wrong, I KNOW when you're not working, one can't be too picky, but I also can't drive 40 miles for $9 an hour...(I didn't even know people still made that little money). So anyway, THAT'S why I'm having my own little party this morning.

I got up this morning, made my coffee and jumped on the computer to the job boards and I guess I beat them up be/c nothing's been updated from yesterday. : ) (what is that saying...something about the early bird... :)))))

Ok, so get this (Caroline will appreciate this)..so we get Time Warner Cable the other day which has an awesome exercise on demand channel. In my head, I kept saying that since I'm home now, I can do that. (I'd been trying to walk, but the heat is a wee bit too much at the moment) so I flipped through all the different on demand exercise channels they have and found some great ones....so I watched them. Don't get too excited, I SAID "watched". I literally sat there watching some cardio hip hop show and was soooo enthralled with just watching, that I never got up and DID anything...(now come on, how SAD is THAT)...

So after getting over that huge failure, : ) , I had it in my head that I wanted to start eating better. I'm not a horrible eater (how many times have you heard THAT statement from a fluffy person) but I eat waaaaaaaaaay too many carbs. I don't eat meat alot, rarely actually, so I end up substituting that with rice, pasta, bread...ya know, the GOOOOOD stuff...I LOVE vegetables and fruit, I just tend to have those WITH the rice, pasta and bread... Wonder if there's a carb rehab? Anyway, back to my point....I went to the store the other day and saw a fitness magazine, so I grabbed it up. I mean, too be sure I could look like the chick on the cover. How hard could THAT be? So I get the magazine home and read through it and they, of course, have a lot of exercises in there for one to do to get rid of flabby arms, legs, butt, thigh, chin, pretty much any part of you that you need help on..so I'm reading these articles and trying to figure out how to DO the exercises with nothing but a little bitty picture and some mumbo jumbo words explaining them....and I lean over to my hubby and tell him that he's going to have to help me figure out the freakin steps to actually do them. Now HOW sad is that???? You'd think I would be an expert at any exercise from watching the on demand channel for hours.

And can I just give a shout out to my hubby. He is freakin awesome. He has stood by me throughout all of this and not once asked me to apply at Walmart. : ) I'm not sure what good I did to get this man, but God was sure looking out for me. Even through the times I want to ring his neck (and there are lots of those), I see what a great man he is in his heart. He's got the biggest heart of any man I've ever known. (just remind me of that the next time I DO want to ring his neck) : )

okay, enough for today...back to the job boards. Wish me luck...

Holy Keowza

I cannot believe it's been so long since I've posted. Guess time DOES fly...what does it do when you're NOT having fun though? Mmmnn???

Anywho, were are STILL in the process of getting stuff out of storage and into the house. We've gotten the "fun stuff" and what's left are boxes that obviously could be given away since we're in NO hurry to get them. But whatever.

AND during this process, we've had my son's best friend, Megan, in from Minnesota, so that's been a little crazy...We picked her up from the airport on July 10 and she's leaving Thursday. I didn't expect her to be here THIS long..I mean I love her and all, but jeesh..it's just not been a good time for this long of a visit AND she has a birthday this Thursday so I felt the need to give her a little party since she won't be home with her own family. SO let's just say it's been stressful....

Still NO job. I did finally go to a staffing agency, so we'll see where that gets me.

Back to the land of the living

Ok, sooo it seems like FOREVER since I've been here. WOW

We are still in the process of moving into the house. We've got the basics in but there is still some stuff left in storage that we need to work on getting here to the house. It's just a pain. Moving sucks. : ) But I'm LOVING the house. Pictures will be coming....

Since I'm still jobless, I'm not able to get the lapband surgery anytime soon, so I'm doing WW. I just started this, wholeheartedly, yesterday so it's still new (again) to me. I'm scared it will knock me out of the eligibility range for the surgery once I ever do find a J O B, but that's the chance I'll have to take. I figure I'm not getting any younger and I"m always hearing about someone dying from heart disease and it makes me think I've GOT to do something for me and for my health.

My world is spinniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

• Ok, first of all, let the packing begin....we have to be out of here Sunday night and we have not packed the first thing...I'm not kidding you...I'm serious....Darryl is off tomorrow thru July 7th and the engineer, geometric guy in him is determined to pack and load up everything himself...he says all I need to do is be at the new house to unpack the stuff...hee hee, I can do THAT...
• I've got a job interview tomorrow morning in Cary, so I'm excited about that...it's with a real estate firm and it's administrative...that will seem soooooo nice...to have a job I can leave in the afternoon and not bring it home with me or have to talk to clients on the weekend be/c of an upcoming trial...simple and easy..that's what I'm all about at this point in my life...
• We close on this house on Monday afternoon but aren't scheduled to close on our new house until next Wednesday or Thursday, so I think we'll be camping out at my grandparents until then..so that means I'll be without internet and I think it will kill me...THAT'S a long time w/o my vice...
• I cancelled my appointment w/ the new surgeon regarding the lapband that was scheduled for mid July..not really because I'm not sure, but be/c of the whole non insurance thing...that pretty much did it...that's ok...it gives me time to regroup, make a decision AND get a job WITH insurance...

So, wish me luck with all of this. Cross your fingers.

P.S. One of my good friends is flying to Mexico next week to have the lapband done. I'm really nervous for her..I KNOW alot of people have done that be/c of the expense, but I still worry...just her BEING in Mexico freaks me out....so hugs and kisses to you A. Good luck.

A different frame of mind

Well here I am...I've had almost a month to sit at home and clean until my floors shine AND to contemplate this whole lapband thing...I've been praying that I'd see the light on what is the best answer for ME...and then I'm flipping through the tv channels this morning and come across this great show on fit tv.http://www.figure8films.tv/shows/ubc_pa.htm#synapsis. It was about this couple who were both extremely overweight and just wanted to get in better shape..they started working out and eating better and they did just that. It was a slow process..certainly didn't happen overnight, but it was SOOO encouraging...so positive...the girl ran a marathon (well she did a combo of walking and jogging) and they both just ended up doing these physical things they NEVER thought they could do or even wanted to do before. It was really inspiring..it made me think of my friend Caroline http://www.carolinescommitment.blogspot.com She has worked SOOOO hard and done this weight loss thing in a full blown way...all on her own..she's made herself get up and hit the gym or the walking trail or whatever AND she's lost the weight. She's watched what she ate and she did it.....

I'm just letting alot go through my mind right now...not sure which direction I'll end up turning to.

The latest

Well, ever since I've been not working, I've been a crazy woman. I've always been a clean freak but WOW, it's been in overdrive lately.... hee hee

We've got 12 days until we're out of this house...Now ask me when we're going to be in our new house...One would assume the 30th as well or even, go figure, before...but NO..my lender didn't do her job and we're not sure WHEN we'll have our closing date. We're pushing for the 30th but don't have that as official yet. Makes switching lights, phone, etc...a lot of FUN. . ~ iroll~

Still hunting for a job with NO luck. Ya know, I always thought I was pretty marketable, but I'm not feeling that way lately..I've sent in a gazillion resumes (and I mean that literally : ) and noone's called me for an interview....what's up with THAT?

So, I'm just me..just hanging out at the house...and don't be jealous..it's NOT fun...boring actually..I mean, one can only clean so much.....

Worried about GF

GF, I hope everything is ok with you. Haven't heard from you in a few days and you haven't posted to your blog....PLEASE let me know that you're ok...you KNOW all of the stuff going through my mind....you can post on here or email me mgp@alltel.blackberry.com

So, today is my birthday.....37 going on 21...ok, I guess only in my mind. It's been an ok day. Hubby tried to make it a good day, but being out of work and dealing w/ all the surgery stuff isn't fun.....just kinda took away from the day. Of course, when you get my age, a birthday really IS just another day.

I'm not having to change surgeons 3/4 of the way through this lap band journey. I couldn't get my surgeon's office to return calls and/or emails. It just got ridiculous...something this important, they should at least have the decency to return my calls and calm my fears but nope. So I said the hell, excuse me, with them and researched a new surgeon. Called his office and his staff SEEMS to be great. I explained the situation to them and they seem ready, willing and able to help. Thank goodness. So, here we go.........AGAIN....

Tick Tock

Ok, so today I have still YET to hear from my surgeon's office. I heard such great things about this place and I really haven't seen anything great about them....they don't return phone calls or emails...I always get their voicemails when I call...not sure about them...and SURE not impressed.

We had the home inspection today for the house we're selling..the appraisal was yesterday. So far, so good FOR the buyers...they're loan and stuff should go through to close this house on the 30th while our loan on our new house is taking it's own sweet time and it might be a few days after the 30th before we can close...ok so what are we to do during those three days....it's just a PAIN in the booty...I just hope this is IT. I hope we move in and just fall madly in love with this house and want to raise our grandchildren there. : )